February 2nd, 2011
It’s always exciting when Slantmouth sets out on a project’s maiden voyage. It brings back fond memories of past endeavors and experiments, like that time we brought a circus cannon into the office. We offered interns the opportunity to be fired from it for a chance to win a full-expenses-paid vacation to the approximately 3% of Mexico not controlled by drug kingpins who will sew your screaming face onto a soccer ball.
But this competition had an M. Night Shyamalan like twist: there was no vacation. Also, at the end we found out that all of the participating interns were dead. This was probably due to shocking twists number three and four: there were no helmets or safety netting for the interns shot out of the cannon.
So, back to our new and somewhat less deadly project. We were discussing how we could take advantage of the wonderful powers of the internet in ways we haven’t yet tried. Somehow, that conversation led to us going back to technology popularized before the internet was even a stain on some obese engineer’s sweaty Black Sabbath teeshirt. That technology? Radio.
Don’t get us wrong; we hate modern radio. It’s terrible. Between the constant rotation of three songs and the men shouting at each other all the time, it’s a depressing place. Also, no pictures.
Despite that, we feel that we can bring something unique to internet-based audio recordings. We’ve commissioned a group within the Slantmouth empire to record something we can only hope is not a complete and utter disaster. It will, at the very least, contain the type of [angry -ed.] cheer and positive [death -ed.] energy you’ve come to expect from Slantmouth.
So, you can expect that to happen really soon and I don’t mean “really soon” based on standard Slantmouth Time™. It’ll be here before you know it. Unfortunately, it will also include no pictures.